My most recent client "discovery meeting," the first component of my financial planning process- more text-booky "Establish the Client Relationship", had me thinking about how to add value to client relationships. This engagement should feel different, more personal and unique as we step into the financial planning process together.
For me to feel engaged in my work, I have to tap my heart or my creative spirit. There is no choice; it has to be one or the other... preferably both. This is the way I create my self-portrait. This is how I autograph my work. It is my center and the only way that I can currently conceive of to fill my spirit with my professional endeavors, which is an absolute must.
Client Discovery is asking a question and then listening. It is facilitating the client toward taking another dive deeper, to talk and reach inside and talk some more. I facilitate only by asking a question, focusing on the answer and using the answer to ask another question. I don't have anything to sell here, I don't even have anything to say. I have a lot to hear and learn and absorb if I am doing the best job I can do to engage in a meaningful "client discovery meeting".
I hear different things from different hearts and minds. There are positive and negative thoughts shared but no good, bad, right or wrong things. I hear fears and weaknesses. I hear power and accomplishments. I hear bragging and insecurity. I hear jokes and avoidance. I hear ignorance and pain. I hear intelligent, time tested experiences. I hear beautiful prose. I hear dreams and nightmares. It occurs in these meetings and in their reflection that our greatest fears are played out most dramatically as we embellish on what will probably never happen and sit in the fear of that thing happening most of all. The time we spend here. Wow.
My job is to sit and absorb and focus my own heart and mind on not coming up with solutions, conclusions and judgments. It is such an natural instinct to try to solve and fix and offer. This is not the time or place for this. Take a deep breath, Amy, and listen with your heart.
When I am crunching the numbers, waiting on the software to buffer and compute, filling in the blanks with the data collected, my heart is still hoping to get to speak about what I learned in discovery. I didn't discover 401(k) investment elections, I didn't absorb how much social security will be received at 62 vs. 70, I didn't feel the IRA after tax return or focus on the asset allocation of the current portfolio. This was a person I discovered. How could I create a plan with numbers and equations that provides a guide book and reference for someone's plan without true discovery? Listening is essential and feeling is required to hear.
I reflect on the importance of communicating what I've discovered about a client in a soft and sensitive way. The "habitudes" and money spirit of each person is a fragile child. I take time to pick the words, time to write it down in hopes that the client also uses their heart to read it.
A recent letter started like this:
First and foremost, (client's name), I feel confident about your financial future and I believe that your frugal nature is a great strength, empowering you to make decisions to ensure you’ll have the financial resources to maintain your lifestyle. As a business owner, artist, collaborator and woman, you reflect confidence, calmness and perspective.
What I see as an area for development in your relationship with your finances is to employ this confidence and perspective toward greater awareness and money-consciousness. The result may leave you feeling less overwhelmed by your finances. I think the best way to assist you in achieving this goal is to make sure that we find quick and painless ways to systematically handle the money management area of your life. You may have to think about your action plan sometimes but with a systematic approach, we’ll keep it brief and painless so that financial management requires a minimal portion of your time better spent on your more passionate pursuits.
Although I've yet to receive feedback, my heart hopes it was heard. I focus on the idea that my thoughts center the client with her own heart so that she can listen and learn. Perhaps she is in a process of personal reflection, perhaps she was blown away by the angle I take, the unexpected use of my heart and feelings in a harsh and calculated business model. Perhaps she thinks I am a joke; perhaps she was offended and thinks I've wasted my time.
I am in the process of personal discovery. How will I autograph my work with excellence? How will I paint this self-portrait? With my heart. I will use my heart.
